One Moment, Please.

Deer In Headlines

By Gery L. Deer

It’s been said that times change, but moments don’t. The Cambridge Dictionary defines a moment as an indefinitely short period of time or particular occasion. In life, a moment generally represents an instant we can’t get back, one that we either cherish or regret, depending on its personal significance. Together, the moments we experience weave an intricate tapestry of our past, a delicate collage unique to each of us.

A single moment in life can challenge us forever, define us in completely new terms, open doors, or close the path to opportunities. It can be simultaneously life-changing and heartbreaking, glorious yet gut-wrenching.

We usually take those moments for granted, even when we should be paying more attention. Sadly, we are rarely given advance notice of the importance of any given moment. When a moment in life truly changes us and alters our perception, it’s usually either joyful or tragic, forever burned into our memory and our psyche.

Young children may be the luckiest of us because they live in the moment, constantly meeting the world with new wonder. Even if they don’t appreciate its significance, they experience every minute, the “now,” with unaware abandon. Unfortunately, maturity sometimes robs us of that wonder, replacing it instead with the day-to-day problems of life.

Wouldn’t it be great, though, if we could manage to slow time a bit, live more in the moment like kids, and better recognize the meaning and noteworthiness of one instant? As adults, the trick is first to recover the childlike vision that may have faded. Then we have to learn how to recognize the significance of a mere instant in the whole of our lives.

As they whiz past, like blurry telephone poles along the highway, recognition becomes increasingly difficult. But, while trying to capture the most important moments, we may completely miss them because we’re too busy trying to get a video of it on our mobile devices.

This big, bright, world is presented live, in 3-D, and high definition. Still, we stare through artificial eyes at a 3-inch screen in awe of the events unfolding before us. Unfortunately, while we’re trying to capture a digital memory, we’re missing the nuance of the moment. Genuinely seminal moments deserve our full attention.

It reminds me of people who are constantly snapping pictures during a fireworks display or their child’s school play. I get wanting a quick photo or video clip. But holding the phone up the entire time to watch through a screen minimizes the importance of the moment. Personally, if I’m there, I want to experience and appreciate what’s going on right in front of me.

With all their attention focused on some gadget, they miss the “IRL” visuals, the sounds, the reactions of those around them, and, most importantly, the company. These are meaningful, shared moments that will never come again. By the way, if you’re not up on your text-speak, IRL means “In Real Life.”

Staying in the present can be hard, no matter what we’re doing. A moment cannot be measured on a stopwatch or added as a calendar event. It’s here, you’re in it, then it’s gone, all at once. It’s up to each one of us to determine what it means, hopefully during but, at least after we have experienced it. We all have our own values system for guidance.

So the question remains, how do we create more mindful awareness in our daily lives? How do we appreciate those life-altering moments as they happen? I suppose I could just spout the same stuff you’d find if you Google all the self-help gurus. They’re going to say to do things like slow down, meditate, eat healthier, exercise, take in nature, put away your technology, and so on. There is certainly a place for all that. We should probably be doing all those things anyway.

Instead, I will only say this, paraphrasing one of the prolific producer Norman Lear’s television theme songs. “This is it, this is life, the one you get, so go and have a ball.” And it’s fine to snap a photo, but remember to be in the moment. Be present, put away all the tech, and experience life – IRL.

Author Yvette Keller announces the publication of “Douglas Adams’ London” literary guide.

Yvette Keller is a lifelong fan of the British writer, Douglas Adams, best known for the 5-book, science fiction humor “trilogy,” The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. The Santa Barbara, California-based writer now invites Adams fans and London tourists to experience all things Adams through a new literary guide, “Douglas Adams’ London,” published by Herb Lester Associates. Pre-orders are now available at www.herblester.com with a ship date of March 11, chosen because it is Adams’ birthday.

Adams lived and worked in London for decades. “Douglas Adams’ London,” is a hitchhiker’s guide to 42 places (chosen honor of Hitchhiker’s reference to the ultimate answer to life, the universe, and everything) drawn from the reality and fiction of Adams’ life. On one side, a stylized map pinpoints relevant sites across London. On the reverse, detailed information about each site spotlights its significance to the author.

From Shepherds Bush to Highgate, the map leads tourists along the streets that Adams knew and cared about, noting the rampant development of his beloved Islington, “Grim concrete monoliths, eyeing the new spaces in Upper Street where they hoped to spawn their horrid progeny.” Expressing the timeless joy Adams referred to Hyde Park as, “stunning except for the rubbish on Monday mornings.”

Keller’s pilgrimage to walk in Adams’ footsteps began very simply. It began with her 42nd birthday and a book, one she is writing to share her experiences with other fans. “By exploring the meaningful places in Adams’ life, you start to see how reality and fiction came together for him,” Keller explained. “Character, setting, and author intersect with reality, and, as Douglas said, ‘If you’re going to set it in London, you may as well set it where you live because you know it. There’s no point in setting it in Putney if I’ve then got to get a bus down to Putney to see what the layout is.’ “

Ben Olins is the director at Herb Lester Associates. He was intrigued by how real and imagined worlds overlap. So, to explore real places from the work of an author best known for Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy was, in his words, “irresistible.” The publisher is no stranger to literary maps. The company’s “guides to the unexpected,” include Agatha Christie’s England, Occult Paris, and New Orleans Good Times.

“One’s first thoughts of places included in a galactic travel guide don’t include the north London estate agents and residential streets. But places he (Adams) knew are used throughout his books,” Olins said. “In charting all of that, I hope we bring to life the world Adams inhabited, and in doing so perhaps bring readers closer to a writer they admire.”

Those who pre-order the Douglas Adams’ London guide directly from Herb Lester Associates have an opportunity to order a set of six coasters gathered from fictional pubs and clubs across the Hitchhikers universe. (Check out the author’s unboxing video here.)

While supplies last, they will also receive a seventh, exclusive beer mat from Milliways – The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. The guide will be available to fans in the United States beginning April 15. For more information, or to order, visit www.herblester.com.

The Fork in the Road

Deer In Headlines II

By Gery Deer

It’s been said, probably so often as to be cliche, that life is a journey. In my opinion, it’s one with no map and very little direction. Almost from the moment we’re born, when other human beings are making decisions for us, our path is dictated by a series of directional cues. We are constantly confronted with forks in the road, a seemingly endless succession of them. We encounter one after another, each outcome depending on whether we turn left, right, or stay the course. 

With every decision comes an alternate reality, like you’re in a plot-your-own adventure story or the biological component of some if-then-else loop in a logic program. How you proceed is determined by the results of the choices you’ve made. Too bad there isn’t some kind of warning when we go the wrong way, like that irritating buzzer when you touch the sides in a game of Operation. I never could get the funny bone out!

Sometimes figuring out how to make those choices can be pretty fuzzy. That’s especially true when your life is filled with obstacles almost from the moment you leave your mother’s womb. That’s how it was for me. 

I rarely discuss this, but I was born with a long list of birth defects, ranging from hip and pelvic issues to major organ complications. I no sooner hit the air than I was suddenly popped into an isolation crib and studied like a bug in a jar, it even had air holes in it! 

When those forks in the road have “No Outlet” signs on pretty much every option, your previously endless choices are quickly reduced to none. My parents were faced with exactly that situation. They were told from the beginning to be prepared for a long fight. Every decision determined the path of my treatment, some successful, some not so much. Everything about my situation was new, experimental, and risky. 

Young Gery Deer, 1967, in an isolation crib at Grandview Hospital.

I remember my Dad telling me a story about the doctor coming out to see him after I had been moved to a children’s hospital and examined more thoroughly. At the onset, the prognosis was uncertain, to say the least. 

Dad was sitting alone in the waiting room and my mother was still at the hospital across town where I’d been born. Although the overall birth was routine, given my issues, they wanted to keep her there longer. So there he was, my Dad, a strong, hard-working man who hadn’t made a decision without my mother since he was 18 years old, now alone, scared, and exhausted. 

The doctor appeared from the exam area and sat down next to my father to explain the situation as clearly and thoroughly as he could. All estimates were that I wouldn’t walk, I would have lifelong physical and possibly mental debilitation, and, because of the likelihood of infection and limited treatment options, they shouldn’t expect me to survive beyond the age of 5.

Visibly shaken, Dad must have looked like his world was caving in around him. The doctor put a hand on his shoulder and said, plainly, “How much faith do you have?” My father’s response was true to his character – “How much do I need?” Put more simply, what Dad said was, “Let’s do this!”

That was the path Dad and Mom chose, the road they headed down. For them, there was no other choice and they didn’t go tentatively but with the gas pedal on the floor and in high gear. As predicted, it was a long fight, and there were countless surgeries and procedures into my twenties, one experiment after another. But, as you can see, I made it past age 5, by a half-century, actually. 

And I’m here and able to share this story because my parents made choices in extraordinary circumstances of a kind I can’t even fathom but for which I will be forever grateful. Before my parents died, I had to make very similar kinds of life-changing decisions for their care as they had made for me. The moral of all of this story is that your journey isn’t complete and the only one who can really choose the correct path for you is you!

Old Endings and New Beginnings

Deer In Headlines 2

By Gery Deer

Can you believe it’s already February of 2023? I know it’s been some time, but I’m back at the op-ed desk – although I have no idea for how long. This time around, my column has a different title and a more personal focus. I’m not sure what direction it will take, but my hope is that you find it of some use, even if all it does is give you something to think about. So, since I’m starting over here, I decided to start this new version with a very simple topic: new beginnings. At least I thought it would be simple.

What can be said about new beginnings? First, wouldn’t you have to think about the “old ending?” What came to an end and why? Is it worth leaving where it is, or does it need to be dredged up and dealt with in some new way. Who knows? All we can do is pick up where we are, decide where we want to go, and take that first step, one foot in front of the other. 

Author Mary Shelley (yes, of Frankenstein fame) once said, “The beginning is always today.” I would expand that to say, the only moment we have is this one, right here, the one you’re in now. No past, no future, just the “now.” So, “new” beginnings may not be possible since, really, it’s just the beginning of whatever comes next. 

After my father died, I felt pretty lost. We were in the middle of the pandemic, July of 2020, and I had been so immersed in his care for the months and years prior to his passing, that the direction I was taking on the other side of it wasn’t really pointing anywhere. I was getting back to work, my friends and family were trying to support me, and I was looking for anything to help me recover who I was without Dad to look after. 

When people try to reinvent themselves, often looking for that new beginning, it’s sometimes because they don’t like who they are, or were. But that wasn’t where I stood at the time. I’ve always been pretty comfortable with who I am, but, as they say, life happens and that can throw you. And thrown I was, tossed by circumstances like a cornhole bag, missing the target by a mile. 

For several months I suffered from, what I eventually learned was, depression brought on by anticipatory grief and the constant second-guessing of myself with regard to Dad’s care. Oddly, I had never experienced depression before and had a really tough time wrapping my head around the idea. Me? Depressed? Nonsense. I just couldn’t accept it. Forget a new start, I didn’t want anything to do with anyone.

That feeling was completely foreign to me. I had always powered through challenges in my life, and there have been a ton of them. At that point, however, I was hiding on a couch in my basement – so not like me. 

What did I do about it? Great question. I wish I had the ideal step-by-step guide to offer you for starting over after major changes that shake you like an 8-point quake on the Richter scale. Unfortunately, I don’t.

What I can tell you is that first, you need to figure out where you stand at the moment. Don’t think about the future, it isn’t written yet, and try very hard to let go of past baggage. You can’t fix what was and what’s to come is entirely of your own making. Your first steps will determine your path and turning left or right at the fork in the road creates your own unique reality. Whatever that reality, though, it’s yours, no one else’s. 

New beginnings happen every morning when we roll out of bed, or fall out as is my case most days. I stomp to the bathroom, look in the mirror, and wonder how that old man got my pajamas. Still, it’s a new day, a fresh start, another chance to get it right, or completely blow it. How ever it comes out, at least it’s my choice. And the choice of a new beginning can be yours too.

Beaver Creek Wetlands Association Volunteer Rally offers opportunities, outdoors and in.

Beaver Creek Wetlands Association will hold a Volunteer Rally on Sunday, February 25^th, 2023, at 10:00 A.M. at Peace Lutheran Church, 3530 Dayton Xenia Rd. in Beavercreek. The event is intended to provide information and answer questions for those interested in volunteer opportunities with the organization. Registration is now open (click here) and current volunteers are encouraged to bring a friend.

Beaver Creek Wetlands Association is a member-supported, non-profit organization established in 1988 and works to protect and restore wetlands and other natural areas in the Beaver Creek watershed in Greene County, Ohio. Since it was founded, the organization has preserved and protected more than 2,400 acres of land.

According to staff, volunteers are the backbone of BCWA efforts to care for this diverse ecosystem while simultaneously educating the community about the role it plays in maintaining clean drinking water. This Volunteer Rally will give people a better understanding of the opportunities offered and how they can partner their skills with the needs of the wetlands to benefit the entire community.

“This event is a great opportunity for those interested in volunteering with us,” said Beth Edsall, Outreach Director. “Participants will have a chance to talk to the land management team, committee heads, and other volunteers and learn more about different ways they can make a difference to this vital part of our environment.”

For the leaders in our community, BCWA offers many opportunities on their board of directors and various committees. Educators will enjoy helping with hikes and programs geared toward all age groups. For those who love gardening, many opportunities include seed collection, planting, and invasive plant removal. A lifelong learner might want to help the environment. Volunteers can also learn a variety of new skills, like plant identification and driving a tractor.

Opportunities are mostly for adults, but BCWA also offers options for youth organization projects, such as 4-H or scout projects, as well as high school and college students in need of service hours. Most volunteer positions are for outdoor tasks, but there are several indoor opportunities available.

For more information please visit www.beavercreekwetlands.org.